I know this is completely unexpected and I have never written a note to you before, but I am a mom now and am learning a few new things from my daughter. I promise you though I will not write anything clichéd, not reveal any family secrets or make you teary eyed.
Thank you for making me the mother I am today. You said the last time you were here that I was pretty good at this thing. I learnt it all from you. I am exactly like you in many ways. Like I always start waking the children thirty minutes before they have asked to be woken up. “Wake up, it is 6am, “ I tell them when it is actually 5:30am only. They wake up rubbing their eyes and look at the clock (or their smartphones) only 15 mins later. When they eventually get mad at me, I smile back innocently just like you did. A little extra time on hand hurts no body, it is all for their own good they will realize someday, just as I did.
There is one thing that is different though. I have fighting matches with them. You heard one of them on the phone the other day. Truth be told, I chase them around the house, pick up their stinky socks and school bag from the front door, argue over cleaning their room, get (REALLY) mad for sneaking into the kitchen to make something and then leaving a big pile of mess behind. I need to scream reminders, “Did you flush and wash your hands?” I yell, yes Ma, I do yell sometimes. Actually, I do that quite often. But I know that I will conveniently forget all of this as they grow up, just like you did and there would be no mention of the yelling and fighting matches.
How do I know this? I heard your Skype conversation with the kids over the weekend.
“Did you scream or get mad at Mom often ?“ they had asked.
“No. Never. I did talk to her always when she did something wrong or did not agree with me,” you had answered. Yes Ma, you and I always had peaceful arguments and our home was never a madhouse like mine is.
But I do wonder now, why did we have those arguments (peaceful) and why did I desire to rebel so much. After all, what ever I did in life, I ended up listening to what you told me(many years later of course). My children are the same way. They like to try out the exact opposite of what I suggest. I know they will learn someday, just as I did.
Thank you for listening to me patiently and letting me do my thing always. As the children are growing up and they want to do more and more things on their own, I am finding that it is the toughest thing to “let go”. What if they make a wrong decision or do something incorrect. You were cool Ma! (I learnt this from the children too). You let me make a fair share of mistakes, blunders and do catastrophically bad things, you stood by me and let me learn my lesson.
Did you ever sneak in and read my journal ? You can be honest because I do not remember anything that I wrote. But I really need to know because I am itching to read the kid’s journal. Is it inappropriate to do that ? And it is not just the journal, there is lot more to sneak in to these days – Text Messages, Instagram, Snapchat. Oh Boy !
This motherhood thing gets quite exhausting. I know you always remind me to have a glass of milk everyday but I am not sure if that is going to help relieve this level of exhaustion at all. I remember some days when I came home from school, the house would be a little unkept or the kitchen would be awfully empty and quiet or you would want to sit alone for a bit. You never said anything but I NOW understand you must have also been exhausted on those day. I find comfort in my cup of tea on those days. I know tea does not provide adequate nutrition but it makes me happy. Sorry, again for not listening to you. My children do not listen to me when it comes to food either.
Speaking of food, I try to pack nutritious lunch 2.5 days of the week, that should be good enough. Right Ma ? I don’t know if there is any mother who can pack a meaningful, wholesome, nutritious lunch everyday. And of the days I cheat on lunch, I come back home from work, open the refrigerator and stare at it for good 30 mins. I finally close my eyes, grab all I can get and pack all the nutrition in a one pot meal for dinner. Oh ! I do make a salad on the side. The children complain to you (the grandparents) nevertheless, just as I did.
The children are growing sooner than I would want them to. They will leave home in a few years. I can only hope that they will miss me and call me often. I hope they long to come home and yearn for a home cooked meal and some alone time with their mother, just like I do. Every single day.
This is now getting a bit emotional. So I am going to wrap it up. You have a great mother’s day, Ma.
(We wrote this for both of our moms but if you think this fits your relationship with your mother too, you can share this letter with her today.)
*Picture Credit : Vipin Kalra