With Mothers’ Day just around the corner, I thought I’d do an upgraded version of this post. The kids are older with more defined needs. They are definitely temperamental with moods changing like the seasons except in a quicker and more volatile manner. Precious learning continues as we slowly creep into presumably challenging years of adolescence.
I am torn about this next phase, it’s positively bitter-sweet, forcing Hubbs and I to accept the grim reality that the time we have with them is brief. Below are lessons learned and unlearned thus far. They are my truths about raising two demanding, flourishing kids, who bring me immense joy, happiness, worth, disappointment, pain, anxiety, all in equal measure.
Doesn’t matter how informed you are or how many books and articles you read about parenting, you are never prepared when inevitability strikes. With newer and tougher territories, oh crap becomes the “IT” phrase.
Somehow things tide over. Maybe not the way you expect them to. But they do with happily ever afters. Happily ever afters? Nah. I was kidding. Things end. They just do. And in a few days you will look back at the same instance and marvel at the hold some situations can have on you.
If you are one of those moms looking for details, especially about their day at school, get used to the “nothing much” response. Its starts in pre-school and shows no sign of evolving into an intelligent, detailed, exciting response for a long long time.
“I love you”, a term they learn to say very young and rather frequently or randomly. As they get older, the frequency may taper down but when uttered, it takes on a deeper, richer meaning, one that will leave you feeling incredibly blessed.
“Pick up after yourself” is like a company’s vision. It’s just looks good on paper. It’s downright lofty.
Chores are a hard sell. Unless you add an incentive, they will not get done.
Brace yourself for more laundry. And smellier clothes. Those darn hormones do their thing and kick up the unpleasant many notches up. The personal laundry needle moves from dislike to abhor.
If you want to be remembered as a “rockstar chaperone”, go ahead and knock yourself out with a bazillion after school activities. Also prepare to turn your car into a house and a McDonald’s into a dining room. Trust me, less is more.
Brace yourself for the vocabulary showing off phase. The spellings will remain dismal but catustropi, humeliating, sircastik, pursepective and such get used frequently and with much aplomb.
Hug them tighter, kiss them plenty. Even if they turn away disgustingly. The PDA’s take a whole new meaning for the mommy. One that makes her proud, happy, wistful and sad, all at the same time.
Conversations definitely improve in quantity and quality. You get ample opportunity to ramp up your listening, negotiating, conflict, questioning, probing, asserting and other such skills. Most force you to reevaluate your credibility as a parent. Each reinforces the fact that learning is always a two-way street.
They may look annoyed with public display of affection but they still yelp like monkeys on crack when you volunteer at their school. They cling to you, show you off like a prized thoroughbred leaving you with an utmost sense of flattery and admiration.
The sibling bond gets tighter, stronger and fiercer with time. I dare you to say anything remotely harsh to one of them. The protective fangs come out in a jiffy to insulate against all things evil.
Mommy is the tech dinosaur. No matter how hard you try to keep up with the rapidly changing world of gadgetry, you are always two steps behind.
Mommy is everything. Nothing feels right or works without mommy.
They fight. They make up. They fight. They make up. They fight. They make up.
And oh, that game called Minecraft. Less said, the better.
“If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”
Tell us more about your childhood is a request that is on auto play. Stock pile your stories and be prepared to throw one at them at the most unexpected hour. Like “mamma, my poop is not coming out. Can you please tell me one of your childhood stories?”
Apologize when you need to. It humanizes you. They quickly realize you are flawed and they accept you without judgment.
The beautiful thing about kids is they allow you to redeem yourself. To make amends, to better yourself. This is how magnanimous they are.
Written by : Sukanya Bora. Picture By :Sukanya Bora