Purple Ribbon Campaign is to raise awareness for domestic violence. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, with the intent to raise awareness, mourn those who have lost their lives to domestic violence, celebrate the survivors and most importantly talk about it, advocate the cause and extend support. There is a lot of HELP available. The shame is not of the victim. The shame is of those that who to violence and abuse.
SILENCE Empowers Abusers
At Chatoveracuppa, we believe if anything has to change, we have to talk about it. We will let our stories do the talking. In each of the stories, we will find how – Silence empowers abusers. By not talking about the abuse, we are not saving ourselves from social embarrassment. We are encouraging and empowering the abuser.
It’s Friday night. A young couple meets up with another in a crowded suburban restaurant. Over food and drinks they start conversing and the conversation steers towards the usual husband and wife banter. “You did not do this” and “You never do that.” The tone suddenly changes on the table. One of the guys tells his wife to shut up. She mentions it is after all being said in fun. He bangs on the table, speaks louder and tells her to shut up again. This time she requests him to lower his voice, admittedly embarrassed by the presence of their friends (and her colleagues too). He bangs the table louder, speaks even louder and threatens to leave the restaurant without her. She swallows the humiliation and does not say another word in response.
When she opens the door for the maid in the morning, she notices the maid has a NEW blackened eye. She makes her warm compresses and gives her a painkiller. The maid returns the gesture by steeping two hot cups of tea. They drink the tea together in silence. No questions asked. For the maid had not questioned the bruises on the face of her employer two weeks back, knowing well the bruises were not possible from a fall (as she was told).
He has often raised a hand on his younger sister, ever since she was little. His mother has objected but never really stopped him. The sister is in college now. One night she gets home late after watching a movie with her friends. When she gets home, her parents and the brother are waiting for her. She is interrogated. When she tries to rationale, the brother tells her not to argue with her parents. She asks him not to interfere. He yells at her, “How dare she?” He grabs things from the table and throws at her. She protests. He roughs her up right in front of her parents. She is numb from the pain and the hurt.
She wakes up in the morning with a swollen arm. She covers it under a full sleeve shirt before making her way in the kitchen. Her mother in law notices her working in the kitchen with one hand, barely using the other. She tells her to get it x-rayed and not to make a big deal out of it. “Such things happen.” She runs back to her room and cries while keeping the faucet in the bathroom running.
After the soccer practice, they load up the kids in the car, theirs and a bunch from the neighborhood. It is their turn today to ferry the kids to and from soccer practice. Enroute, the dad mentions his travel later that night and the jacket he needed for the conference that he was headed to. The mom admits she has forgotten to drop the jacket at the dry cleaner’s and she is so sorry about it. A slurry of verbal abuse is hurled at her. She pleads citing the presence of kids in the car. He threatens to stop the car and drop her right there, at first. But he steps on the gas and drives recklessly instead. She looks outside the window and does not say a word after that. She does not want to endanger the kids. He slows down but continues to yell at her.